It would seem that some things in life carry significance far greater than outward appearance might suggest. We have all had various things that we liked, but most things are just that; things. They might seem nice, but time and circumstance eventually leaves them behind and they are replaced with new things. My first new bike was the greatest new thing I had ever had. I took meticulous care of it for a season, but eventually it was just a bike. However, there are times when circumstances, often unrelated to the things themselves, place significance onto the object that would probably never have had any special significance in and of itself. This is a story of one such thing.
Just about one month prior to my twenty-first birthday, my first two children were born; twin boys, Caleb and Benjamin. They arrived, as almost by surprise, about four weeks before they were due. Thus, because of the combination of their premature birth and their being twins, they were very small. Caleb weighed just barely over 4 pounds while his slightly younger brother, Benjamin, weighed barely over four pounds. Now as one might imagine they were incredibly tiny. To put it into perspective, combined they weighed only slightly more than a gallon of milk.
Also, as one would assume, their very low weight transferred into very small size. I will never quite forget holding then in my forearm just as I would have held a football. Nor will I forget the times I would lie on the couch having the two of them lying on my chest. I used to joke with my wife about how there was easily room enough for a third. For many men this may not seem like much until they consider that I myself am only five foot six and barely weigh 130 pounds.
Soon after their birth, I got an opportunity to gain perspective on how truly tiny the boys really were. I will never forget the afternoon, I think a day or two after the boys were born, when I walked into the nursery and saw another newborn baby. This baby weighed a whopping thirteen pounds. I could have added the weight of Caleb again into the boys combined weight and they still would have weighed less. Our two boys could comfortably share the small bassinet the hospital had for the newborns. This baby barely fit in his. I was shocked at the disparity in size between our boys and this baby. I don’t think I realized before, how very tiny they really were because I didn’t have any perspective to compare them with.
Regarding perspective, I didn’t realize how difficult it is to notice one’s smallness or largeness without a direct comparison until my daughter was born four years later. My mother brought Caleb and Benjamin to the hospital to see their new baby sister the morning after she was born. Once again, I was overcome by the disparity in size. I had not realized how big the boys had gotten until I had this new baby as a point of reference. My wife and I had spent the past evening and night admiring our beloved new daughter. We admired all her tiny little features a my wife, as most women I have found, was especially captivated by her tiny little feet and toes. However, when my two four year old boys entered the room I was struck by the comparable immensity of their hands. Only yesterday did their hands seem so small and slender. Now they appeared enormous and engorged. My two little boys were growing up indeed.
A few days after the boys were born they appeared to be healthy and able to go home. Though they were premature and thus very small, they were meeting all the doctors’ requirements to be released. However, suddenly, for reasons that are still somewhat of a mystery, Benjamin had an unexplained choking incident. Although they never explained all the details, appeared as though he had spit up some formula and then began choking on it. From what I was told, it sounded like he had stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated. Although it did not appear to be anything other than a choking event, they decided to send him to another hospital better equipped to deal with major issues related to premature birth. So it was that we now had two babies in two different hospitals about 100 miles apart. It was a most difficult decision as what to do. Do we both go to see the sick child, do we both stay with Caleb, or do we split up?
As it was, we decided to commute back and forth in order to see both. We took with us a little stuffed bug toy that someone had given the boys as a gift. We put it in Benjamin’s hospital bed right next to his head. Sometime later, after developing pictures, I noticed that that bug was just as big as his head. For whatever reason, I have never forgotten that picture. Later, when our daughter was born, and then again when our youngest son was born, we used it to compare the size.
The little bug has kicked around the Stopyro home for nine years now. It has been played with and lost, then found and played with again. It has been forgotten for periods of time, but it keeps finding its way back. Eventually, I would imagine it will find its way into the cribs of grandchildren and eventually, if the Lord tarries, great-grandchildren.
Now this bug is nothing special in and of itself. Thrown in a pile of other stuffed toys it would disappear in the crowd. There is nothing particular or special that sets it apart from all the rest. In fact, it is really no different than all the other stuffed toys that have come through this house. Yet, this is the only one I remember. What makes this one different then? What sets this particular stuffed toy apart are the events that surround it. Circumstance created a destiny for this little bug that gave it a tiny bit of significance; just enough to be remembered for.
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